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Not used to being a paranoid person, so I did not know that fear is such a fearful thing. Too fearful and anxious that I lost sleep and cried in the middle of the night. I need my question to be answered quickly - couldn't wait for Monday to come already...

iamscared
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Recently, I've been thinking bout' you quite frequent. It's like a bad habit that comes back after a long long time. Prolly' I had been too busy to attend to the thoughts in the back of my head, and then now my work has gradually slowed down its speed with reduced stress - hence the thoughts that have stayed behind for long is resurfacing. It's annoying yet at the same time reminiscing those happy days. 

Had a silent battle within myself whether I should just pick up the phone and call you straight. But then again, the answer is no, I shall not do that. As time goes by, it seems it's a lil' easier to make that decision compared to the last time. I guess the day that I will eventually lost the urge to call you will come, cause' the day feels near already.

IMY

  
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Officially a year now after I've started working. Prp-ship checked.
What would be the next? Uncertainty - the feeling I really hate cause' I do not know what's lying in front of me. I do not know what are the available options. It's never easy to adapt in  a new environment and to build new relationships, and reputation again. However, like a year ago I could not worry whatever that's fixed. I shall wait and accept with an open heart whatever it is.

So many events had taken place for the past few months, and all along they had been fun and happy. It's gonna be tedious to recap of all, so prolly' it's best to just post what's recent. Back in a writing mood tonight, cause' I want to be distracted by typing away instead of trying to reach out to you, to wanting to tell you badly bout' my experiences. I'll rather just write it here.

Post phone soaked day 3. I've gotten to realize how important it is to have a phone in this new era. No phone means no contacting the outside world, no internet, no alarm, no reminders, no clock, no photos. It has become this essential, and it's really heart-breaking when I stupidly lost the sim card + memory card too. And yet,this is not a bigger pay for this cave expedition. They say, save the best for the last. The worst has yet to come, and how true is that when I woke up with allergy reactions all over the body, causing me a 2 days of mc along with damn-sleepy-meds and painful injections that were enough to knock me off for the whole day. However, despite all those I had my share of fun during the cave experience as I know this is not something I would do without these new friends I made during the last month's skytrek activity. In two months time, I challenged myself to the fear of height, darkness, and the traumatising thoughts of seeing you-know-what in the cave, I think I did pretty well although I slipped and fell and hurt myself. Thanks to my love who was always there for me, watching my back, to Mr V. and MR F. that never once left me feeling in fear cause' they were there the whole time for a helping hand, ensuring our safety.

Ending excitement and tiredness of caving experience, time to be pretty and walked tall in high heels to attend friend's wedding cum meeting old schoolmates. Rewind 10 years back, couldn't possibly remember all from the past but glad to know that everyone is doing fine with good careers and families. It's always a wedding that will bring those old friends together again for catching up moments and endless photos-taking session (and once reminded me that I do not have a phone with me! *sobs* *sobs*)

Finally settled down after a day of fatigue and rush to a cup of hot coffee with my dear at our fav hang-out place beautifully dressed from the wedding. We chatted a little while more over, wrapping up the loose ends of the day. 

Tomorrow will be another beautiful day. Life has to be lived to full each day in order to feel alive.


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About Me

Hi there! This is a personal space where I pour all my thoughts and mood posts into words. A place of serenity during sleepless midnights, and where I return to look at how far I've come and what had life gave me.



Live well, laugh more, love much. X

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