Walking Down the Memory Lane (again)
Not sure when will I stop walking on the memory lane, just knowing that I'll continue on this path until I won't be able to continue anymore. It took me a longer time to write this supposedly year-end post cause' I couldn't find the right words to describe all that happened in year 2012 (not that I found the right words already) *sigh*
Last year I thought the year before was bad enough, but again this year I think last year was worse. Life originally should have a lot of ups and downs to be worth living. If this is the case, then mine had been quite worthwhile I would say. Year 2012 revolved too much around you. Your every emotions affected me like I encountered the same moments you were having. When you are sad, I am sad. When you are happy, I am happy. When you are distant, I feel lonely. You are a very emotional person, hence making all my emotions go up and down like a roller coaster ride. This moment I am smiling happily, and before I knew the next drop of tears just rolled down my face.
Getting very tired with all these, but just couldn't make myself let go. Prolly' your decision is right by completely cutting me off from your world, cause' if you didn't I would not be able to leave you. I had a very speedy recovery process cause' there were distractions everywhere which completely blocked you off my mind. I still think of you sometimes I admit, when my mind wanders too far off. But it's just a thought of the old memories we had and nothing more.
Apart from you, last year was quite a fun-filled journey with family and friends. Had trips from Phuket-Australia-Cameron Highlands-Malacca (one-day secret trip)-Singapore with coursemates, family, dear, new friends, old friends is really a good way to close a chapter before I unfold another page of my life. Traveling is my all-time favourite thing to do cause' visiting a new place is always an eye-opener and to be able to spend time with my loved ones is bliss.
However, loved ones couldn't stay forever. One by one they will leave someday. For work, for family, for future, for dream, and the worst parting is death. I've attended 3 funerals last year - a friend, a friend's father, and my sister-in-law's father. They might not be my loved ones, but they are someones' loved ones, someones' important people. This fact is enough to made me shed tears cause' this is the last goodbye, and you know that there will never be a next time. I learnt that life is fragile, and that I should be appreciating all those who are around me now and not to dwell on people who already left. Also, the coursemates I had shared life with for 4 years finally got their postings in October, and all are leaving to work. I wouldn't know when is the next time we would gather as a complete group again but I believe we will someday. We just will.
Year 2012 also closes the chapter of my education life. Finally, I passed my degree and is now ready to work. Well, I'll write a full post about ending my studies when I finally can have a convocation. Couldn't wait for working life although knowing that when I finally work, I'll be missing school life again. That's what life is all about, isn't it?
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