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My life, My memory, My dream

May 13th, 2011 marks the day when baby Arielle is finally here to see the world. We have all been anticipating for her arrival since we knew about cousin Suzie's pregnancy news. Although May 13th is not a good date according to what happens in the history, but this doesn't affect the excitement of waiting. Today is  my last paper of this semester, and it's also 2 days away from my own birthday. This means that baby Arielle is a Taurean and her chinese Zodiac a rabbit - just like me. =) 

An angelic look of hers made me smile...
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It's time to resume blogging when I'm in the mood. The next update in about May's happenings will be about my 24th. This time around, I am able to celebrate my day without being hindered by examinations like the previous years. Last paper ended 2 days before 15th May - it's birthday! However, celebration wasn't big and lavish but just being simple with my loved ones with me. No cake is blowed this year. However, this is more than enough. =) 


Drinking Starker at Overtime to late chats at mamak stall to buffet lunch on Sunday noon to belated celebration at a simple cosy coffee shop - all these simple outings means a lot to me as all these showed that I'm being loved by many. My coursemates, my family, my friends. Thank you.


From this year onwards, I'll make it a habit to count my blessings on my birthday. When it comes to calculating, I realised there is a lot that I have to be grateful of. And the most grateful thing is to be born into this family. Being the youngest daughter, the youngest sibling, I am very much pampered and I get into my way most of the time. 


When the day for me to leave this world is here, I'll tell God that I wish to be born in this family again for my next life, next next life, and all the lifetimes I can have - having my same daddy, mummy, brother and sister. There's no where like home. Birthday just needs to this simple.

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There's a lot of updates that I should do, but am too busy to do that. So, I decided to update when I'm back from my long-awaiting trip. =) Wait for my return, and I'll tell you stories of my life for the past one month. I'll bring you a full journey of sun, sea and beach too!


Stay tune to find out where I'll be going for the next 4 days =)
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Was thinking to blog this post in my mum's favorite color, but it suddenly hits me when I realize that I don't know what's mummy's favorite color. But since I like blue, I think she will too, as this is always the way ever since I was born. I seldom talk about family, but when I do so I have long stories to share. I am the youngest in the family, and because of this I am very much loved and pampered. 
Mummy is famous for her fierce character, short-tempered and strict. However, facing her children, her heart can melt too. During our younger days, mum always told us how important education is, and how our future depends on it. She made us learn a lot of things, and going for never-ending classes. While I see my friends enjoying their weekends away, I am always rushing for back-to-back classes - from tuition classes to piano to mental arithmetic to swimming. As the youngest in the family, I am more fortunate as I get to learn most things, and thank god I completed each and every thing I've learnt.
Before moving to this bigger house, I remembered staying in a smaller place until I was eight. I remembered vividly that in the old house, mum would make us finish our homework right after lunch. We were also demanded to do a lot of revision books, with her staring at us holding a hanger in hand. Yes, the hanger which we use to hang clothes, and do not hesitate whether she will beat us with that, because she did that.
Other than being fierce, mum does a lot of nagging too. She nags everyday about everything. But, I've always know it's all for our own good - but sometimes I wish to tell my mum "We are grown-ups already. We know what to do." But I guess, in her heart we are always her children who has never grown too much from the day when we were born. 
Mum is a stingy person too. She never spend a lot and is always calculating the money she has. But, I know too that one day when she is gone all those money saved is for us. She is planning for our future, so that we have better life without her. However if there's a chance I would like to tell mum that "I hope God will never take you away as you are more important than money". No matter how stingy, mum is always generous to us. We always receive the best - from shelter to clothes to foods. 
Mum is also a person with contradictions. She hopes that we can excel in our studies, so everytime when I am studying hard, burning midnight oil away for exams she's very happy because she sees that I put in effort. But then, she regretted asking me to study so hard because her heart aches seeing my dark eye circles forming, as she fears that my health will deteriorate.



So, my dear mum is a very special person, isn't she? No one can replace her in this world. =)
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My life is a total mess up nowadays.
I am awake when everyone's asleep.
I go to bed before sunlight shines into the room through the curtains.
I have my dinner when it's actually supper time already.

When do I get to live normally again??
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Haven't been online much recently due to the exam period. To ease some boredom, I went in search of a new skin for my blog. And found one I like =)
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I just done reading your recent post, and it touched me deeply. Slowly, I felt the words I'm reading on the screen becoming blurred by my own tears-filled eyes. You were not describing how sad you are, you were not complaining how hurt you feel, nor expressing your tears. Instead in your post, you said you have learnt how to hide your inner feelings not letting other people know and always carry a smile with you. You said you no longer cry easily, and have no other ways to express your grief and so you let writing to to take over the job. With all these recent posts of yours, I can't help thinking... Are you still facing sorrowness? If not, why have you let yourself blogged so frequently.

You said you have become stronger, and I believed you. Until now, I still do. Because you have showed me how you stood up from the place you fell. As what you have said, your wound left you a permanent scar, however life must go on. I know you will be reading my post, so I am here to remind you - the scar you've got might be permanent and over the years it will heal. Sometimes getting a scar is not such a bad thing, because I'm sure the journey leading to the road you fell must have been a good one, isn't it? Memories of taken the road before must have enough for you to relish for the rest of your life, right? And I know, if you are given the choice again, I am sure you will still make the same decision eventhough you know how much it hurts.

I think I can never really understand how deep your wound hurts because afterall I am not you. Although you are under the recovery process, and have been smiling more often now but I couldn't help feeling the tiny heartache in me. You've changed and become tougher over the year, but sometimes I wish your tears could flow again, telling me that you have not transformed so much from before...
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About Me

Hi there! This is a personal space where I pour all my thoughts and mood posts into words. A place of serenity during sleepless midnights, and where I return to look at how far I've come and what had life gave me.



Live well, laugh more, love much. X

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