When you told me to just listen, and do not say anything... I thought it would be hard to as I always have things to say about what you want to tell me. However, this time I am speechless, and felt totally helpless. I do not know what I can do to help you feel better, or maybe at least temporarily forget the pain.
The closest moment I am to a life and death situation, was when my grandfather passed away. I couldn't remember anything else other than his leaving during that year. I swear, that was the hardest 5 days for me ever. The moment I saw grandfather being wheeled out from the surgery room, with an expressionless face, I knew he's gone. My family, my relatives were all crying, but I alone stood there like I was being froze - couldn't speak a word, and tears wouldn't flow. I couldn't believe that he just left like that. I hoped it was all a dream - a very bad dream, and I would be awaken soon. We all went back to grandpa' house, the adults were busy preparing for the funeral - packing grandpa's favourite belongings so that those things can go with him. Then, realisation finally hits. I knew grandpa's gone forever. Midnight came, and I started weeping silently. I cried so hard that even breathing became difficult...
So, when you told me someone passed away - although I do not know that person, but from your messages I could feel your sadness. Your voice over the phone is a pain itself... You said it's really sad that she didn't experience much in life, and in my mind I thought "Yea.. and who am I to complain about so many little things in life...". Suddenly our conversation about my broken snow globe, about someone else poking into my life, about my quarrel with sister.. all seems so little, compared to life.
From now onwards, I shall learn how to appreciate life, treasure people around me, and count my blessings from time to time. Like how you know me, I am a crybaby (and you don't like it everytime I cry) - but this time I promise I'll try my best to keep my tears until its shed for something worthwhile. =)
The unsaid: Last night, your determination to stay back for me no matter how much I asked you to leave made me smile. Tonight, you had no choice but to leave, I still smiled because you told me you're gonna miss me while you're gone (although there's this tiny little feeling telling me, I'm losing you...)
