just like that, without a word, without a trace.
Early morning I was awaken by loads of incoming messages. People wrote condolences, expressed how sorry and sad they were to hear the death news of yours. I was still in a blurred state, trying to reload earlier messages to find out who died. At that moment, I never thought it is someone I know, or at least someone I'm close with. People do tag and add me into thread messages randomly in FB, don't they? While I was tapping the reload earlier messages button, my phone rang.
"Mina, did you get those messages?"
"I've seen but I still don't know who died."
"It's him. Our class monitor during form 4 and 5."
My throat formed a lump. So, it is someone I know. It is someone I'm close to. Couldn't speak another word, so I stayed quiet.
"Hey Mina, are u still there? Do you still remember him?"
"Yea, of course I do. What happened?"
"Car accident."
I placed the phone down. Tears streamed down my face. It was a very weird feeling. We were close, but the last time I saw you was 6 years ago. Over these years, we did kept in contact - only occasional. I thought time drifted us apart, but why do I cried so hard?
I didn't attend the wake at the first night. After that, I thought it was a good choice to go on the second night with dear and a few other friends, cause' the mourning should be very much lesser compared to the first night. I was expecting the worst - seeing people crying over your death, friends reminiscing the past, topics of you will just flow. However, the whole place was calm, and people are chatting. I saw friends that I last saw them ever since secondary school. It was like a school reunion day.
I dare not go over and look at you at first, but with a few friends together - dear and gathered our courage to have a last look before we finally say goodbye. The moment I saw half of your face, I backed off. It was too pain to continue. I swallowed my tears and walked out after I said RIP.
**Flashbacks**
"Happy Belated Birthday Dolphine!" - The birthday card you wrote with your messy handwriting. You even wrote a stupid birthday lyrics, which made me angry and laughed and the same time.
You: Hey yo! Long time no see!
Me: Hey you! Ages didn't see you...
You: No! You too arrogant to reply me.
Me: Since when I don't reply you?!
You: No. That's why now got bf different already.
.
.
.
.
You: Yo!
Me: Where are you now?
You: Pahang
Me: No need work ah?
You: In my car la
Me: Ur car??
You: Ya la.. Sleeping
Me: Huh.. And you are here now chatting with me? Not sleepy?
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You: U sound like u're not in KL
Me: Haha.. There where did I sound like?
You: If I say u sound like an alien how?
Me: U la alien!
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You: Hey are u married now?
Me: Huh.. Why the question??
Our conversation were always like that. Weird and abrupt cause' you always disappeared halfway. And now again, you left abruptly but this time you are not coming back. I know I won't receive anymore sudden messages from you, won't be hearing you calling me dolphine nor you will response to my sharks calling. But, I know you are at a better place now so I'm ready to let you go. The memories will stay, and that's enough. So long, my dear friend.
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