Messy thoughts
"Mina... Even when everyone doesn't trust me, u must trust me.. K?"
"Everyone else can think I'm stupid, immature or a bad person.. Only u cannot."
"Dear... I am really sorry if I made u angry or upset.. I tend to do that a lot..."
"I really like you also... But I know one day, sooner or later I'll make you unhappy. I'm afraid of losing you. I'm scared of losing you by making mistakes. I always make mistakes."
"Bie...Don't disappear k... U promised u wont submarine from me.."
All these words played repeatedly in the back of my mind. Like a rewind tape. From the bottom of my heart, I trust you. I believe you even if the whole world denies you. I told myself to ignore your mistakes cause' you told me you tend to make them, unintentionally. I promised I won't go away from you, and yet you forgot everything you've said. Because the one who's leaving is you.
I'm still searching for endless reasons and excuses to convince myself, and then the big bomb dropped.
"Dear, he is no longer that sweet guy who treated you like a princess last time ady."
Yes, I already knew but I need time to accept and digest these emotions. I probably just need a person to tell me out loud like this -- like a real hard slap on the face.
My heart is a heavy rock. Unmoved one.
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