It's now 1711.. Just had my piano class, and i should be studying now instead of sitting here typing this... I'm supposed to be facing all my "beloved" books rather than facing this computer monitor... And yet, I'm not doing that.. why...
Part of it is because i never know how to manage my time properly, there is this thinking that "there's still plenty of time!".... Another part is that, yes, i don't have enough self-discipline to resist the urge of having myself hooked up in front of the screens.. be it the monitor or the television... oh gosh!
Papers I'm going to have next week are tough papers.. I can't wait for the exams to be done and get over with.. But another part of me secretly hopes that time goes a little bit slower so that i wouldn't have to face it so fast.. What contradictions i have.. sigh..
Dark eye circles surfaced.. eye bags getting bigger.. Mum gotta asked me to sleep earlier... Really feel tensed by the exams.. What if.. What if i cannot do well? What if I'm back to square one taking other courses instead of pharmacy? My parents will be damn disappointed and I'll hate doing that.. I'll kill myself for sure if i can't enter degree in pharmacy.. that's what i told my sister.. I don't wanna die young by the way.. Oh gosh... I'm still in the sate of denial... not wanting to believe that I'm going to have my last 3 tough papers next week.. God bless me please!!
So much so, all these makes me misses my childhood life so much.. How nice is it being younger.. Never scare problems not being solved.. (we can always count on the adults) Never fear of having exams and all...( there will be none)
But i guess growing up is a process everyone have to go through... Recalling of the past makes each day goes on easier...
One fortunate thing that i should be happy of, is that i always hold on to a belief which is "enjoy life to the fullest, as we only live once"... If not, i guess i already fall into depression long long time ago..