#4
One of those moody nights again, and your words kept appearing.
"I'll always be here for you", you said.
"Don't worry, I'm always here de", you told me.
"Sayang.. I told you I'll always be here for you", you emphasized.
"Seriously dear... It's ok de.. I'm here", you assured me for the Nth time.
Because of the many times you told me so, I began to rely you more and more when I'm upset, unhappy or when I had problems. You encouraged me during my downfall, told me it's alright and everything's gonna be fine, sacrificed sleep and talked to me until morning when I couldn't shut my eyes, horrified that bad dreams would came.
After so long, tonight I had the sudden urge to call you again. To tell you that I'm in a dilemma, feeling upset and moody. And then, I decided whatever happened to me shouldn't have anything to do with you. I swallowed that urge to call, together with the lump that formed in my throat. I can handle my own tears now; without you comforting me at the end of the phone line - only to hang up after you are sure my tears dried and I can finally go to sleep in peace.
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