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My life, My memory, My dream

I am back at this place in less than a year. What happen to good people nowadays? Why do they leave us so early, so young... Just 8 months ago I was there sending Jeremy off (ironically a best friend of yours) and that was the last I met of you. As always, you gave a warm, tight hug the moment you saw me.

That was the way I remember of you. A person so generous and never stingy with your affectionate gestures. You said take care to me and told me that we will meet soon again. Not long after that, I heard that you are sick - badly sick. There was a need for a heart surgery and we made donations. Then you were at the ICU and I prayed for you a speedy recovery. We exchanged a few texts now and then knowing that you are getting better each day. We communicated through Instagram too and you received my virtual hug (I wish I was there in real to return you a long, warm hug like how you always did to me). 

Then, the news of you discharged came and you were recovering well. That was when I took time for granted. I thought well, I could see you again later. There's no rush there and you should be resting more. And then, the bad news came right after I was back from Perhentian. Friends said you passed on in your sleep. Were you feeling comfortable at that time? Did you feel pain? I hope not.

If you really did passed on in your sleep, without struggle - I believe you're in a better place now. Without the need to go to the hospital so often, without consuming medicines everyday, without suffering life. I wish you all the best and if I do meet you again afterlife, I'll make sure I'm giving you a long, tight, warm hug cause' I owe you one. Safe journey, my dear friend. 
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If you could hold on to just one memory, what would it be? I couldn't decide cause' there are too many to be called as favorites (from a kid until full-grown now). But, if you ask me what is the one memory between us that I want to reminisce, then I know the answer to it without a doubt. That would be the first time when you held my hand in the car, almost dawn, coaxing me to have some sleep before we reach the bottom of the hill. The gentle move of your hand tucking the strands of hairs behind my ear, touching my face lightly while telling me softly that everything's gonna be fine. That you'll be here for me. Although it was only hands-holding and a few slight touches of my face, this means so much more than all the hugs we've had, cause' the warmth and care shown was genuine. 

This is the memory of us that played in the back of my mind when I watched the MV of this song. Wasn't the most impressive animation I've come across, but definitely touched my heart deeply.




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Finally, I've got some idle time to think about my posting. A month ago when I received my first letter from SPA, I didn't have the slightest feel of being worried or anxious. But, as time passes the more I'm becoming impatient of the arrival of my posting letter (can't help wondering where will I get although I know there's no point wondering at all).

At first, I was wishing so much that I'll get somewhere near home so that I do not need to move away from my family and close friends or getting away from the city life where I've spent my whole life here. But there deep down in a corner of my heart, I crave for total freedom on my own, to be independent, to learn how to cope with the outside world, I sometimes secretly wish I'll get somewhere far from home.

Mixed feelings I know, but I'll have the answer soon. Prolly' less than a month now...




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Recently things are not going good for the family. Dad's cough became terribly uncontrollable and finally admitted to the hospital on Monday night. This is the first ever time I saw the weak sight of daddy, cause' he's always the strong one at home (everyone gets sick but he doesn't). Seeing him falling sick is like seeing a pillar of strength comes falling down. I finally realize that age is catching up with daddy when I looked at him closely these few days. There were white hair, wrinkles around the eyes and neck, his once fat belly becomes flatter - it's time us children to look after him.

A paper crane to wish daddy speedy recovery. 

Today is the 4th day since his admission, and I've been really tired going back and forth to the hospital twice a day, and running errands here and there. All I need now is a good long sleep, however, seeing daddy getting better each day lifted my mood. So long he's healthy I'm willing to do anything for him. 


And ooh btw, I'm missing this baby girl already - time to bring her back :)

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Almost an April Fool's baby, he was born on April 2nd. Prolly' because nearing to this date, that's why he's a witty charming baby boy. Although he drove us crazy sometimes with his mischievous ways, but always managed to melt our hearts with only a mere smile. Becoming one - learning how to talk, how to walk is the cutest age ever. 

Baby boy's one year old birthday cake

The happy parents :)

Eyeing only on the largest pressie!

Still remember the day when he was born, so tiny so fragile and now a strong healthy boy. Lil' nephew, I *hearts* you!
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About Me

Hi there! This is a personal space where I pour all my thoughts and mood posts into words. A place of serenity during sleepless midnights, and where I return to look at how far I've come and what had life gave me.



Live well, laugh more, love much. X

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