My life, My memory, My dream: May 2013

18.5.13. My turn, finally. I wasn't particularly nervous during the rehearsals, thinking prolly' I would be when the right day comes. But then, nervousness never came nor the anxiousness. Only the feeling of regret where I couldn't be with my own batch of friends, not sharing the same happiness of graduating together cause' we've been battle mates for 4 years (yea, pharmacy course is like a war).

Sitting there looking at the slides prepared by the juniors recapping all their 4 years together made me thought of my own friends too. When I first came in, my first interview, my first lecture, my first team building camp (and also the last one, oops), my first public health campaign... Though the slides weren't meant for me cause' I'm not their batch, but looking only at that was enough to my eyes blurred with tears. I was suddenly overwhelmed by regret that I didn't attend the oath-taking last year. Though' I couldn't be up on the stage but I should have been there to watch over my friends, to provide them support and to give them my blessings that I couldn't give at that moment. I should have stood there to hug them and tell them how happy I was to be there. But I did nothing of it, instead only joined the after-drinks session and made myself cried over petty stuff and had a memory the next morning that was too painful to recall. And now after a year, I'm here wondering the same question... Are u still afraid to lose me? Or have I already disappeared from your life long time ago? Never will I know the answer so I'm prepared to give up thinking bout' it ~~now~~. Well, maybe some other day.

End of nostalgic memories and back to oath-taking day. Though' there was zero anticipation of standing up the stage, I still feel very relieved cause' it's finally over. I'm now just waiting for my posting letter and there I go into working life. Please, don't let me meet any horrible bosses! All in all, oath-taking was an okay night to meet up with friends and lecturers.