I was planning to come online for a while and to sleep earlier as I've been burning midnight oil for the past 2 weeks due to my trials.
But guess what... When I come log into my friendster profile, everything's changed! According to the "new" profile, this owner is 17 years old, born in the United States with the date of birth of 18 Sept 1990. The new horoscope is Virgo. THIS IS SO NOT ME. The about me section is already emptied. Maybe she/he is already plotting to write something new in it. And the worst thing is, when I went to settings to change a new password, I realized my password has been changed!! *faint*
But again, it's lucky that I could still log in and and once again change the password.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw all this, and I asked my friend to have a look at my "new" profile.
According my brother, my profile has been hacked. And I'm so gonna curse this person.. %#*$@#**!%* What on earth is this person thinking about? Is he/she too free and has nothing to do? Or is trying to save some time by using other people's account and treat it as theirs.
Oh my god... Why am I so unlucky... Of so many profiles... Why mine?! Never let me know who this stupid person is... If not, I'm afraid that I can't control myself from killing her.. or maybe him... (although it was stated as female in the newly edited profile)
Arghhh... I'm so pissed off!! ><

List out the top 5 presents you wish for:
1. A brand new handphone with functions that I need.
2. A new watch so that I wouldn't wear the old one.
3. A whole new package of restyling my hair - I need a hew hairstyle badly.
4. More new dresses.
5. More accessories.

The person who tagged you is:
I've put it as my title of this post.. Anny ^^

Your 5 impressions of her/him:
1. Cute and pretty
2. Very friendly
3. Smart but doesn't like studying
4. Playful and is wild with friends
5. Always seems to be quite sad?

Most memorable things he/she has done for you?
The first testimonial she sent me about a year ago, calling me jie jie.

The most memorable words he/she said to you:
Asking me to "jia you" in my exam.

If he/she becomes your lover, you will:
This will never happen in a lifetime.

If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
There will be only one reason which I cannot reveal ><

Pass the quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you:
1. My dear
2. Miao Cheng
3. Ze-Ning
4. Catherine
5. Kien How
6. Denise
7. Jean Wei
8. Lim Kian
9. Kitt
10. ANNY!

Who is No.7 having relationship with?
No one.

Who is No.9 having relationship with?
No one I guess.. But I wouldn't know because he's so far away...

If No.1 and No.9 are together, will it be a good thing?
Of course not!! My dear already have a sweet loving partner.

What about No.1 and No.5?
They are already together.. ^^

What is No.3 studying?
Ermm... I forgot... Having short-term memory loss recently.

When is the last time you chatted with No.6?
This morning in the college.

Does No.4 work?
Of course not. She's rich enough not to work. :)

Does No.8 has any cousin in his/her own school?
I have no idea.

Will you woo No.8?
Don't think so... He's not my cup of tea, and I'm not his.

How about No.5?
Definitely not! He's my beloved "jie fu"...

Does No.2 have any siblings?
I don't know...

How did you get to know about No.3 and No.4?
Ze-Ning is a secondary school friend - one of my best male friends.
Catherine is my best college mate - my "zi mui".

Where does No.1 live at?
Kajang - I wish she's living closer to me.. :(

How did you get to know No.2?
Another secondary school mate - one of my many nice friends.

Is No.5 the sexiest person in the world?
I wouldn't know. But to me, he's definitely not.. Haha...

Another survey I did when there's nothing better else to do...

Down...
Down...
Down...
Very very down...

5 minutes before this, I was very determined not to log into friendster because I need time to study. I'm afraid that I will be hooked on. But after finding out something which I shouldn't know, my heart feels very heavy and I need to write out in my blog, thus logging into the friendster at last. Typing out my feelings is my way of expressing myself. It's because sometimes I couldn't make myself to share my feelings with others. I think no one could understand.
I didn't know why I have the sudden urge to really must look into a blog of my friend. Something in my heart tells me that there's something that I should know. Then I really did found out something that I don't wanna know, not at this moment at least. And of all these days, why is it today? Tomorrow is my exam! And this really ruined my study-mood. Has this again proved that a girl's instincts is always right?
I'm just angry at myself for being so weak. I've already knew that this will happen. I've already knew this for such a long long time. I'm supposed to be prepared to face this. But again... why? Why am I always being hurt by the same thing again and again? Why am I feeling so moody? Why did I feel so unfair? It feels like my heart is being crushed by a very big rock. This makes me can't breath... I feel so helpless...
Since things already happened as what I've thought earlier, I guess this incident once again emphasizes that I have to move on stronger and not to be so weak. Since I've told myself months ago that I'm prepare to look into the truth, why not accept it as the way it is. I once came across a quote, "Change things that are changeable, accept things that are unchangeable".
So I guess, all I can do know is to accept and do nothing else...
Being a Taurean, I know I can overcome this very soon. I'm determine to move on, and will of course do it. I must learn how to protect myself from being hurt again by the same incident. But, before that, could I just be moody for one more day? Being sad and depress for just this one moment?
I feel like crying so much... But tears just wouldn't flow. Lend me a shoulder, someone?

Way Back Into Love
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

**********************************************************************************************************************

Like how the lyrics I've posted, I need a way badly to search for my love again...
Of all the events happened, I've lost confidence in love after all. Too many bad examples occurred around me and my friends. I even have the thinking of "Guys are just not reliable!" Oh gosh... Even without all these examples, I guess I've trapped myself in my very own experience for too long and can't seem to move on. There might be someone out there who's treating me quite fine, but I just can't find the way to accept new things, new relationship, a new love. There's no way to open up my heart once again. It might be I'm still waiting for my 'the one' before I could pick up my courage to love again, to build my confidence again. This song makes me searching the feel to love and being loved for the first time. I'm missing the feelings of loving someone secretly... being jealous of little things... caring someone unknowingly ... guessing the thoughts of each other's.. falling in love for the first time...
Now I understand why some people said, when your first love comes along, and when it disappears, all these feelings will disappear altogether. That's because after the experience of first love, be it bitter or sweet, one will not be stupid enough to love secretly again...

As an early birthday celebration for a college mate, Feng Jun, we've all decided to surprise him a bit after class. We went to Sunway Pyramid, and yes, at last I got to see Pyramid II. There's nothing really special about it though, and many more shops aren't open yet. Then, my friends decided that they wanted to go for ice-skating which is an activity I hated the most. And also, the most haunting experience I've ever had many many years ago. ( I'm not going to type out the whole story of what happened then, it will take me long to do that ) And so, I felt so reluctant, until I had lost my appetite for my brunch and felt like vomiting when I went nearer to the skating rink. But because of all my loyal friends, ( 10 of them ), I decided to give it a try although I've swore to myself that the skating experience I've got years ago was my 1st and the last time. And so, with much courage, I've put my foot forward into the skating rink...
I was starting very very slowly, even to the extend of blocking people behind me, and holding my friends' hands so tight till I could feel the pressure building inside them. All my friends were being so helpful to me. They taught me how to balance myself, how to skate the correct way, how to look forward and not to be afraid. Everyone took extra great care of me and tried their very best to make me skate on my own without falling down.
Denise even to save me from a fall, she fell on her own, making her knee scratched and bleed. And I felt so guilty. The scratch could have appeared on my knee and not hers. She could have balanced herself if not for saving me from falling. I really owe her a million of thanks. It's really very very sweet of you. I know you really 'sayang' me very much. And also the sweet her of helping me to wear the skates, and tying up the laces for me.
To Jean Wei and Pooi Mun for lending me their extra hands when I needed them the most, thank you very much.
To Cheng Yuen who said he will save me from fall and really did so, holding my hands all the time, practicing with me for half the rink, I owe you a gratitude too.
To Lim Kian, for leading me most of the time, saving me from difficulties of having not holding on to the handrail, you're really kind. =)
To Rena, for being a really good instructor, and asked me to stand straight and be proud of myself, I too thank you lots.
To Catherine, as the best companion of all, always doing all sorts of things with me together, and even have the same thinking as mine, I love you! ^^
To Feng Jun the birthday boy, it's nice for you to lend me your shoulder to lean on when I'm so tired. Hope you'll like the surprise cake we gave you, and the present we've got you. You must wear it and take a picture of that and put it in your friendster private photo, and then give us all the access. You know what I mean ya.. *wink* *wink*

All in all, today's ice-skating experience although was a disastrous one - like what Denise quoted that I said the particular phrase for 3 times in the rink, but still I had an enjoyable time with all of you my dear friends. Because of you all, I'm not afraid to get into the skating rink as much as before, and I promise I'll go again when you all ask me to. With the condition of my bruises I had now recover fully, and protect me like you all did today can? :p
It could be an improvement that I only fell 3 times today after skating for about 2 hours... But that 3 times were hurtful ones. !st, I knocked my right elbow and got it bruised. 2nd, I kneeled on my knee making it a very obvious bruise, which turning it's color from red --> blue-black --> purplish. I don't want to imagine what colour is it tomorrow morning. And 3rd, I fell on my buttock making my jeans all wet!
Anyway, to all my dear loyal friends, I love you all much much! ^^

This is specially written on 11/01/2007, for wishing my beloved dear on her 21st BIRTHDAY!! Since this post is specially dedicated just for her, then I'll typed it in green color - her favorite color of all...

Each year your birthday reminds me
That I really want to say
I’m very glad I know you;
On your birthday,
I wish for you the fulfillment
of all your fondest dreams.
I hope that for every candle
on your cake
you get a wonderful surprise.
I wish for you that
whatever you want most in life,
it comes to you,
just the way you imagined it,
or better.
I hope you get as much pleasure
from our friendship as I do.
I wish we were sisters,
so I could have known you
from the beginning.
I look forward to
enjoying our friendship
for many more of your birthdays.
I'm so glad you were born,
because you brighten my life
and fill it with joy.

"HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY my dear... I love you lots!! Muacks...
Without you, life will never be the same. May you enjoyed your big-day with much joy. I'm so sorry that I couldn't celebrate your birthday on the exact date. But do not worry about the present, you'll get it from me asap..."
A tight teddy-hug just for you... *hugs* ^^