Down...
Down...
Down...
Very very down...

5 minutes before this, I was very determined not to log into friendster because I need time to study. I'm afraid that I will be hooked on. But after finding out something which I shouldn't know, my heart feels very heavy and I need to write out in my blog, thus logging into the friendster at last. Typing out my feelings is my way of expressing myself. It's because sometimes I couldn't make myself to share my feelings with others. I think no one could understand.
I didn't know why I have the sudden urge to really must look into a blog of my friend. Something in my heart tells me that there's something that I should know. Then I really did found out something that I don't wanna know, not at this moment at least. And of all these days, why is it today? Tomorrow is my exam! And this really ruined my study-mood. Has this again proved that a girl's instincts is always right?
I'm just angry at myself for being so weak. I've already knew that this will happen. I've already knew this for such a long long time. I'm supposed to be prepared to face this. But again... why? Why am I always being hurt by the same thing again and again? Why am I feeling so moody? Why did I feel so unfair? It feels like my heart is being crushed by a very big rock. This makes me can't breath... I feel so helpless...
Since things already happened as what I've thought earlier, I guess this incident once again emphasizes that I have to move on stronger and not to be so weak. Since I've told myself months ago that I'm prepare to look into the truth, why not accept it as the way it is. I once came across a quote, "Change things that are changeable, accept things that are unchangeable".
So I guess, all I can do know is to accept and do nothing else...
Being a Taurean, I know I can overcome this very soon. I'm determine to move on, and will of course do it. I must learn how to protect myself from being hurt again by the same incident. But, before that, could I just be moody for one more day? Being sad and depress for just this one moment?
I feel like crying so much... But tears just wouldn't flow. Lend me a shoulder, someone?