The-not-so-me
Ever since the fall, my phone had never stopped ringing - from text messages to whatsapp to line to fb messages, and telephone calls. I know people around me are worrying about me, but I just do not have the mood to entertain any of them. If there is a choice, I would want to swallow myself into darkness and have zero contact with the outside world. The thought of graduating a year later is such a pain. The fact that I am to leave my my battle mates because I am too slow to catch up is even more pain. People keep on telling me not to give up and to stand up again after this fall. Me myself know that this is the right thing to do too, but doing is always harder than to say.
The reluctance to pick up my life led me to a complete different person. I do not care about others feelings, I do what I want. I can't listen to the words of concerns from other people, I do no bother to reply messages and phone calls. I was almost never home, as I was out everyday, everynight. I tired myself out every single night as I only came home in the morning and yet I couldn't put myself to sleep. My parents were worried for me, I know but I just couldn't help it. Friends cannot leave me alone as I'm such a mess. I do things I usually don't as if i am only living for today, like tomorrow never comes.
I see the worries in my parents' eyes. I see the concern from my siblings and friends. I know, even if I don't live for myself, I have to live for them. And so, I will try my very best to pick myself up, to pick up the bits and pieces of my shattered life and I will be my normal self again. I just need a little bit more time...
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