I just had my lunch and had nothing to do right now, and so decided to come by my blog to idle around... I've been doing the same thing now everyday including, finishing my homework, online, practicing piano, reading up the Harry Potter series, watching TV, sleeping , eating... and yes, making mental notes to myself to revise on the subjects that I'm going to be tested for next week. Life is indeed getting a bit dull but I don't really mind it being this way as I prefer to stay close to myself. I'm sinking into the midst of depression and this headache I'm having right now makes matter worse. I can't concentrate on my thoughts and this makes me feels frustrated all the time. I'm forgetting what I'm gonna say the next second and being tired constantly. I'm being very moody when I'm all alone. But weirdly, I still like being alone... Am I sick?
Losing contact with some friends is a norm now to me. As I've always been the one waiting for people to call me up, others making the 1st move to find me first. I don't mean to be an arrogant person ( although I sounded I'm like one ), but it's just that's the way I am. However there is this one person I could not lose contact for too long. I'm always the one making attempts of sms-ing this person and making the 1st move to ask for an outing. Until I got tired of it one day and stopped doing so, in hopes that this person will intend to find me again. I realized how disappointed I was when I know this person will never do so. We've been losing contact for quite some time now, but to me it certainly has felt like forever. I'm missing the moment we've shared together and all the things that we could almost say to each other.
A sudden fear crept inside me. Why hasn't this person look me up when we haven't been keeping in touch... Am I being forgotten slowly from the memory? Or the worst has came? I have became the forgotten one...

My poor sister... She has been under some serious stress these days... And just now she told me what happened to her.. Her boss had transfered her from the department she's working now to another one.. What's worse is, it's a department she loathe so much!! She's being transfered to the credit admin unit.. Last time when she worked at HSBC, she's been doing admin stuff for 3 and 1/2 years.. She had good pay, nice boss, and a bunch of fun colleagues.. She made the hardest choice ever to tender a resignation because she wants to move on into a job she likes in the future... After 4 months of searching, she entered her new company which is where she's working right now... And after working for 4 months now, she's back to square one.. She's been transfered to the admin job..
The reason for the transfer? It's simply because her boss couldn't move anyone else off their positions because they had worked so long.. and my sister is just a new-comer.. It's so unfair to her...
She's been stuck for the same job for 3 years plus.. She left all the good things behind for a new job, for a new role.. And now after 4 years, she has came back to the same role.. If she had wanted to do admin job, why would she left her old company in the 1st place? Now she's stuck with this job she hates, with an inconsiderate boss for sacrificing her instead of the others, lower pay compared to last time... and most of all, with all those bossy colleagues of her...
My sister has always been a very kind person.. very generous and never gets angry easily.. Although things already comes to the worse, she never really raised her voice too often.. If compared to me, yes I admit, I'm the evil sister... Since primary school till now, she's always been the soft-hearted one... It might be she's too easily being bullied by others.. It might be she's not strong enough to stand her will.. But what had she done to deserve this kind of treatment... :(
After what she had told me, I was so angry that I could feel my tears when she left... I hate her boss for making her so miserable.. I hate her colleagues who don't appreciate her.. I just hate it when things go wrong for my sister...
My poor sister...

I haven't been having enough sleep for this few nights.. That's because I'm too busy doing unnecessary stuff.. >< I've always thought that sleeping early is a waste of time although I know that an early sleep is good for me.. Well, that's not my purpose of blogging this post...
Recently, I've really realized the meaning of "to have, but not to hold"... I've heard and came across this line many times before this, but never truly understand it's real meaning... I know now that the time has come...
The time has come to tell me that I'm letting go, and not holding on stubbornly like before.. Sometimes things do look more beautiful after I've learned to look at the other side of them.. I've always been a hesitant person.. I could not decide what's the best for me at times.. Sometimes I just let myself sink into depression and ended up being down the whole day...
But this time, I've clearly told myself that I must let go.. because I know I don't care about it anymore.. As time goes by, it is just not important anymore.. I won't hold on to it although I'm having it..
I'm sure I will sleep peacefully tonight.. And also on all the other upcoming nights...
With the moon and bright stars shining up in the sky.. Life has never been so relieved...

070707... A day which only comes in a lifetime... On this particular day, my sister and I decided to watch a move - Transformers... We reached Mid Valley at about 4sth...The queue was very long and tickets were all selling fast.. For the 5pm and 8pm slots, the tickets were sold out... It is announced that due to the high demand of Transformers, GSC decided to open a special midnight movie on 1.45am... When I heard this announcement, I almost lost hope..But since my sister and I queued up for so long, we might as well ask if there are any released tickets or plan to watch another movie..
When it is our turn, We knew that the tickets were sold out and we planned to ask for another movie, when all of sudden, the girl behind the counter told me that there were 2 seats left for the 5pm show.. and they were not seats that are 1st or 2nd rows from the screen.. They were nice seats at the back.. I'm not sure why are we so lucky.. and many people ended up not buying tickets at all..
Movie was great and I liked it very much... After movie, we went for dinner at Tu-Long restaurant.. I liked the food there and promised will go there again.. ^^
On this special date, I sat on seat no.17 in the cinema as well as table no.17 in the restaurant.. It's all pure coincidence of 7s... So i guess it might be my lucky day.. ^^

This week is the first week of my college life resumes. By right, during the first week, I should be feeling all fresh ready to start my new semester, but instead I feel down for almost the whole week. All of sudden, I feel very tired. I couldn't lift up my smile or talk to my college mates during the first few days of the week. Some asked me, why am i so cool.. I don't mean to be arrogant in front of them just that I'm too tired to explain why am I like this. I prefer to stay silent and hide my feelings to myself.
Things become worse when I received a sms from a friend when I reached home after one of the classes. She told me she was doing the withdrawal programme and asked me not to be mad at her for leaving college without noticing me earlier. When i saw the message, I wasn't feeling angry at all, but I was actually sad. She was a very loyal companion of mine during my college days. She would be the one having same time breaks as mine. I remembered vividly how we spent our morning breaks together at Old town kopitiam as there weren't any shops open yet. During the tests, we would study and revise together. When people teased me, she will stand by my side. She will always accompany me when i needed the public transport and will always ask whether I reach my destination safely. She were there for me when I'm having problems and supported me all the way when I broke up. There are many memories between us and I couldn't bear to see her leave.
A lot of things had happened to her during this few weeks. I sincerely hope that she will be better soon as I can't stop worrying about her. However, when I finally get to see her today, I know she will turn out to be the most independent girl ever. She's holding on to her dreams, doing whatever she has in mind. Being with her today, I laughed a lot, as well as cried a lot. I seldom cry in front of a friend, but strangely, this is not the 1st time I drop my tears in front of her.
Although she has left college, but still she sms-ed a friend of mine saying, "help me to keep an eye on min nah. She's kinda in a bad mood." So, thank you my dear friend.. I promise I'll take care of myself.
From now on, I'll always remind myself to be independent and that I need to attend to my own feelings. I will not complain to my friends nor tell them how unhappy or moody I am. I won't have to depend on others to console me as I know sometimes telling others how I feel won't help. There are things that people just won't understand.

I came back from the Redang trip 2 weeks ago.. It indeed was a fun trip despite the long journey reaching there and getting back home.. And of course not to mention the amount of sun I've got... I've become a few tones darker! People can see it from the pictures i uploaded.. Sigh..
I've been waiting to go to Redang since years ago, partly because many people told me how nice the place it is and also the numerous times I've missed the chance going...This is my second trip with my college mates and still it is fun as ever.. This time all of us stayed at Redang Bay Resort..
Redang is a place where I feel very relaxing and could consider spending times there just to leave my mind blank, throwing my problems behind... It's been a long time since I walked on a beach, feeling the wind blowing on my face.. ^^
During this trip, it was my first ever experience of snorkeling and seeing lots of sea creatures around me... I thought i will be freaked out but it turns out I'm okay.. And I actually thought that the sea turtle is very cute..
It was also my first time ever dancing in front of so many people.. We danced like there's no tomorrow... and we couldn't stop ourselves until we were dying of thirst and the sky starts to rains.. Searching for blue sand on my second night there was a fun experience too.. We waited there patiently and yes, we saw blue sand!!
The only unfortunate thing was, we didn't get to see the sunrise because the weather was not good enough.. both mornings were cloudy and it drizzled on the second day... I was disappointed but I know there will be next time...
I'll miss the sun, sea and sand.. I'll remember those breathtaking views.. I'll visit this place again the future I believe...