This week is the first week of my college life resumes. By right, during the first week, I should be feeling all fresh ready to start my new semester, but instead I feel down for almost the whole week. All of sudden, I feel very tired. I couldn't lift up my smile or talk to my college mates during the first few days of the week. Some asked me, why am i so cool.. I don't mean to be arrogant in front of them just that I'm too tired to explain why am I like this. I prefer to stay silent and hide my feelings to myself.
Things become worse when I received a sms from a friend when I reached home after one of the classes. She told me she was doing the withdrawal programme and asked me not to be mad at her for leaving college without noticing me earlier. When i saw the message, I wasn't feeling angry at all, but I was actually sad. She was a very loyal companion of mine during my college days. She would be the one having same time breaks as mine. I remembered vividly how we spent our morning breaks together at Old town kopitiam as there weren't any shops open yet. During the tests, we would study and revise together. When people teased me, she will stand by my side. She will always accompany me when i needed the public transport and will always ask whether I reach my destination safely. She were there for me when I'm having problems and supported me all the way when I broke up. There are many memories between us and I couldn't bear to see her leave.
A lot of things had happened to her during this few weeks. I sincerely hope that she will be better soon as I can't stop worrying about her. However, when I finally get to see her today, I know she will turn out to be the most independent girl ever. She's holding on to her dreams, doing whatever she has in mind. Being with her today, I laughed a lot, as well as cried a lot. I seldom cry in front of a friend, but strangely, this is not the 1st time I drop my tears in front of her.
Although she has left college, but still she sms-ed a friend of mine saying, "help me to keep an eye on min nah. She's kinda in a bad mood." So, thank you my dear friend.. I promise I'll take care of myself.
From now on, I'll always remind myself to be independent and that I need to attend to my own feelings. I will not complain to my friends nor tell them how unhappy or moody I am. I won't have to depend on others to console me as I know sometimes telling others how I feel won't help. There are things that people just won't understand.