I needed some time alone badly... So i decided to look for my trustworthy hairstylist at KL..

I took the train until Hang Tuah station and started a slow walk to Plaza Berjaya ( I'm lucky that the weather is nice and windy.. ) Along the way, I did a lot of thinking and pondering... But still, I can't figure out why am I so down... The longer I walk, the more I felt I'm not in the mood...

I had my haircut quietly, I'm satisfied but not particularly happy... I'm always a very simple person.. Simple things like a nice haircut, a great day of shopping, or even just a dish of my favourite food can lift up my mood... But all these don't work today... I just wanted to be alone..

After haircut, I went to Times Square and walked around... The feeling of no one knows me.. no one recognizes me is so nice. No disturbance, no one around. I tried on some shoes randomly, flicked some shirts and pants... Then, head back to Hang Tuah station - walking again.. I need plenty of walking to keep me distracted from thinking too much... but instead I thought more and more and more...

I suddenly thought of messaging a friend in the train, to thank him for "yum cha" with me last night. If not because of him, I might sink into depression dy. He's really a person who can always make me feel that life is hopeful. He taught me how to believe in miracle. How to be more confident. I was randomly saying "I didn't look at stars for so long" when I face up the sky. Then he replied "Of course lar.. u're always so lack of confidence.. always look on the floor only..." Suddenly, I realized what he said was true.

When I thought I needed him, I saw him online when I reached home. I was typing "Are u here?" Then he answered "I'm not died yet.. of course I'm here." That made me smile genuinely for the first time today. I told him I was glad that he's here.. because I'm not in the mood right now, and needed his company to make me feel better. Later on, he said he's not consoling me, because he doesn't know how to console people. I feel really nice hearing this because I don't want anyone to console me. I don't need this. It will only makes me feel depress it seems. He always know the way to lift up my spirit, and I really thank him for that. =)

I realized lately I'm becoming more impatient. Little things made me agitated. I don't listen silently. I don't sit unmovable. Everytime there's people around me, I needed a space on my own. It's like I lost my shell and wanted to crawl back into it and hide. That's very bad.. Right? But I enjoyed being alone. Not even a bit I felt bad about it. I need some time to do some thinking.. Seriously..

All by myself in the empty train....

A totally new short hair-cut...