I wonder what triggered me to type out this piece of post...
I'm slowly losing myself i can feel...
I'm not my usual self...
In front of everyone else, I'm still the same...
Not wanting anyone to see through me through my facial expressions...
I might not be a kind person, but i can always think for others...
Placing myself in another person's shoes.. trying to help whenever possible...
Being friendly in each situations...
But why.. i wonder why... some people just can't understand why I'm feeling angry about something.. or maybe feeling upset about what they have done... Is it because it never cross their minds that this kind of attitude actually makes me feels sick?
Facing these people, i just can't help being too emotional... I couldn't think from the perspectives of these people anymore.. I couldn't be the one i used to be... Just feel couldn't care much... couldn't be bothered... couldn't be kind...
The devil side of me surfaced.. I don't like the feeling of making a revenge.. Don't like to hate someone... But now, it doesn't matter anymore...
I'll just let myself lose control...
I'm not going to be kind to you anymore...
I want to have my sweet revenge on you...
It's payback time... You will have to pay for what you've done!!
But at least, please don't make me start hating you, if not, there's no turning back i can assure you...
Having insomnia nowadays... very hard to get proper sleep in the night..
Every night also need to wait until 3 or 4 in the morning only can fall asleep..
Even fell asleep dy, also will wake up almost every hour... Makes me lose my concentration during the day.. It's very tiring..
I'm tired of tossing and turning finding the perfect position to fall asleep..
I'm tired of forcing myself to free my mind from any thoughts...
I'm tired of looking at the ceiling blankly with my eyes wide open...
I'm tired when i can't get enough sleep...
I just want to get some sleep... Why is it so difficult?
What's wrong with me...
What's bothering me...
What's worrying me...
Not gonna force myself to sleep tonight... Hopefully studying and doing lots of revision helps me to fall asleep quickly..
Sun (20/5), i had some great time to waste! yes, it's waste... haha..
As my birthday present from wei zheng, he said he'll bring me out for movie and buy me a dinner.. We went to One U... We reached there quite early... About 5pm.. We were fortunate to have a car park space within 10minutes.. And also bought our movie tickets within 10minutes too.. We have to wait for our movie from 5.30pm to 9.30pm... That's a whole lot of 4 hours.. What we did was only walking, stopping, standing, sitting.. and resume walking again.. I was wearing my high heels shoes, and i keep on telling him that my feet hurts.. ><>
What i didn't expect was there's another birthday celebration for me... My coll mates had the effort to celebrate my birthday with me yesterday after my extra class in coll.. We went to Mid Valley.. There weren't many surprises but they were my great company... To dear Cindy and Robin, i really appreciated the effort of buying me a cake and trying to hide it from me to create me a surprise... And then also, the bracelet you both bought for me is really nice.. And I'm loving it.. The way robin gave it to me is somehow creative.. He performed a small magic to bring out the bracelet from his hand and helped me to wear it on my wrist.. thank you.... ^^
About the song that both of you sang to me, it was nice... And the it's sweet.. I'm touched.. It's my 1st time ever, anyone made a song just for me..
And to the other, thanks for coming just for me.... Although there's 2 girls missing, but one had called and another had sms-ed me.. You guys really made my day.. It's my blessing knowing you all...
The lyrics of my very own Happy Birthday song... Only i have this song!! ^^
特别日子
倡首特别的歌
倡首快乐的歌
为你祝福
祝福美丽的你
天天一样快乐
在致幸福时刻
为你唱歌
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
祝你生日快乐
祝你永远快乐
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday happy birthday
happy birthday to you
祝你永远快乐
The clock strikes 12 when I'm typing this piece of post... And it just means my birthday is gone... Just like this... Well, this year's birthday is a simple one for me.. As I'm having my examinations currently.. Although simple but it's sweet enough for me to remember this birthday which brings me another year closer to adulthood...
It seems like, when I'm younger, i always wished that i would be a grown-up soon.. But as I'm growing up now, i wish that I'm still the small innocent girl i used to be... Being the youngest in the family certainly brought me lots of benefits.. I'm always the one being pampered and adored... Advantages of being young, is there are less problems to be think and solve of... And there won't be so many complaints...
But the fact is, everyone does grow up.. So I'm enjoying this process.. Taking my time to enjoy every bit of it, be it sweet or bitter...
Well, while I'm typing this, i want to express my heartfelt gratitude to all who remembered my birthday, and wishes me in time.. Thank you so much...
To my family members, thanks for everything...
To my friends, thanks for those testimonials, messages, sms-es and phone calls...
To my college mates, thanks for singing the birthday song so loudly that the lab assistants can hear it , and wishes me too.. ^^
To my best buddies of 10 years, it's really a blessing to have my birthday celebrated with u girls..
To my one and only dear, i appreciate your effort of being the 1st one to call me every year without fail... Thanks for the great outing.. Thanks for the nice pair of shoes... Thanks for being there for me no matter what happens.. Thanks for the companion when i needed you most.. Thanks for the helping hands... I just love you so much! Things certainly wouldn't be the same without you in my life... Muackss...
To wait for the answer is very suffering...
To yearn for the truth is very suffering...
To ignore the "as-a-matter-of-fact" look on his face is very suffering...
To not notice that the fact has already happened is very suffering...
To suppress my feelings now is very suffering...
夜的宁静是时候好好反省 月的阴晴圆缺就像我的心
夜下着雨天在哭泣 不知道何时才放晴 我忽然非常想念你
你的背影让我失去了理性 你的放弃让我迷失了自己
你的离去就像刺青 永远烙印在我的心
是如此痛 而如此的美丽
我努力的想哭泣 却哭不出泪滴
一次又一次的灰心 才发现早已麻痹
终于发现自己 已经不在乎你 原来分手也能如此安宁
原来分手也能如此安宁
我要什么时候才会醒过来。。。
我要什么时候才会不再在乎你和你的感受。。。
我要什么时候才不会常常想起你。。。
我要到什么时候才能得到安宁。。。
Time can help to deal with emptiness,
Time can help to deal with the loss,
Time can help to ease the excruciating pain,
But never expect time to erase the memories from past entirely,
Never expect time to fade away the scars which is left eternally....
Tonight is an unforgettable night for me.. 2 nights ago, i received a surprise call from a friend who i haven't seen for 10 years.. A primary school mate... She asked me out tonight for an outing for a few friends.. We've been very close friends during primary 1,2 and 3.. then we actually lost contact after that as i went for my PTS class.. I still remembered how upset 4 of us were... They even cried when i have to leave...
Then at last, i meet 3 of them (pooi leng, li fah & tsung lye) tonight after so long... For 10 years, no one has change... We are still the same old us.. Having as much fun as possible... Trying to catch up with each other's lives for the past 10 years.. 10 years is not a long period of time, nor it's short... I'm just really glad that i could meet up with my besties from primary school, and can still talk so much with them..
The most touching moment was, they remembered my birthday next week, and they were the 1st ones celebrating with me this year... They brought me a cake with a bunny on it.. Imagine friends you haven't been seeing for 10 years celebrating your birthday.. That moment nearly brought me tears.. It was so great that this celebration remains in my mind always...
We took quite a number of pictures together.. Worrying that we won't meet again next time, but we promised each other that we will definitely meet up again.. And also, as much as possible to compensate the lost of friendship of 10 years ago...
All in all, i really gotta thanks them a lot...
For the meeting up...
For the birthday cake...
For the pictures we've taken together..
For the conversations and laughters we've shared...
For the unforgettable moments...
For the great friendship that we've always keep in our hearts...
I love you girls!!! Muacksss... ^^
我问为什么 那女孩传简讯给我
而你为什么 不解释 底这头沉默
我该相信你恨爱我 不愿意敷衍我
还是明白白你已不想挽回什么
想问为什么 我不再是你的快乐
可是为什么 却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常讲人拖着 把爱都走曲折
假装撩解是怕 真相太赤裸裸 狼狈比失去难受
我怀念的是无话不说 我怀念的是一起做梦
我怀念的是争吵以后 还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日 也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空 最近的右手 最暖的胸口 (谁记得) 谁忘了
我怀念的是无言感动 我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动 求我原谅包得我都痛
我记得你在背后 我记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌 最美的焰火 最长的相拥
谁爱得太自由 谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心 谁忘了那就是承诺
谁自顾自地走 谁忘了跟着我
谁让爱变沉重 谁忘了要给你温柔
(我怀念的) 我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日 也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空 最近的右手 最暖的胸口
我放手 我让座 假洒脱 谁懂我多莫不拾得
太爱了 所以我 没有哭 没有说
A song that i love very much recently...
This song seems to remind me of a love story...
What i miss is receiving your phone calls and sms-es after we've quarreled...
What i miss is being angry at you for all the things you did...
What i miss is the sincerity which i could see in you...
What i miss is actually only the good side of you...
Now,
Without the frequent calls and messages,
Without the unnecessary quarrels,
Without the sincerity from you,
I don't miss you anymore...
All i do is only keep the best memories of all your good sides in my heart...
Not hoping to tarnish any reputation of yours...
Tonight, on the way back home from dinner with my daddy, brother and sister, i looked upon the sky and saw a very round moon - a full moon.. then i saw that there aren't any stars in the sky... I realized it's been a while since i look up into the sky... I've always enjoy star watching since i was small.. It always looks nice to see the starts shining brightly... i still remember the childhood song that my parents always sing to me.. i learned it well.. and never forgot about it..
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How i wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle twinkle little star,
How i wonder what you are!
I miss seeing those stars in the sky...
I miss those shining stars that brightens me up everytime...
I miss the moments when we watch the stars together...
I miss the numerous times when you said you'll pluck me a star from the sky to give it to me just because i like it..
I miss it when you asked me not to be disappointed when i saw only two tiny stars in the sky, it's because you said two represents one in your heart and one in mine...
But sadly to say, where has all the stars gone to? Where has the stars kept in our hearts gone to? The sky at night just doesn't seems perfect without the shining stars... Although there is this big round moon...