My life, My memory, My dream

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It's amazing how time flies. I could still remember the small cheeky faces of my niece and nephew, and now they have grown up so much -- even capable to come over my place to spend their one-week holiday. Unfortunately, I didn't turn out to be a good host as I was sick on the day they arrived! However, I did made it up for them after 3 days in bed.

So, she did grew up looking a lil' like me =)

I couldn't really think of places to bring them nor any activities that I could do with them. As much as I hate to admit, generation gap does exist :/ I thought of you the moment the children asked for a game of bowling. I seriously can't play bowling! Also, I didn't get to meet you when I was sick, and it's the last day you here before going back to your hometown. I felt the need to meet you before you leaves, and I certainly can't leave the children at home. The whole situation left me with no choice, but to go out all together. I was kinda glad we did that cause' I had you to play arcade games and bowling with them. I lost all my energy from the sickness.

Thank you for being there, when I'm too sick to entertain the kids

A day before the children leave, we woke up early to get tickets to the Petronas Twin Towers Skybridge. I knew there are a lot of people queuing for tickets daily, but I never expected such huge crowd, however we are the only local "tourists". I do feel like a tourist today -- went up the skybridge, snapping photos, getting maps and looking at directories, taking public transportation (I've never get on a lrt for years).

Curious on how much they charge tourists for the Skybridge tour? (It used to be free)
For Malaysians - RM25 (adult), RM12 (kids below age 12)
For foreigners - RM80

Few snapshots at the skybridge

Then we went for Madagascar 3. Perfect movie to watch with the kids. We had good laughs during the Afro Circus Polkadot song. That few lines stuck in my mind for the rest of the day. Lol!

Good stress reliever :)

Dropped by for a cute drink + snapping photos

Bedtime for the kids

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The same question played in my mind for many times, two days before my birthday. "Will you be here on my birthday?" Like how I wanted you to promise me. But after the leaving on that morning, I realised whether or not you could fulfill that promise is no longer that important. Because, important is I hope I could still smile when I see you.

The day started slow with a healthy morning jog. I never really liked jogging, but this time around the jog brought me far from unnecessary thoughts. I found out that while I jogged in this big park, there are so many routes that I can take to reach the endpoint. It's the same in life, there are so many roads to be taken, some farther, some nearer. But, so long the road I choose is the one that brings me to the endpoint while being happy in the process then the distance does not matters so much, isn't it?

After resting properly, it's time for celebration. Finallyyyyy, I got to watch this long-awaiting movie - The Avengers! As what we have promised each other, all dears must watch this together. We have waited for the exams to end, waited for dear to come back from Taiwan, waited till' the gala night was over, waited and waited and waited...

My favourite superhero: Agent Natasha Romanoff. So cool, too cool =)

Must-watch-movies list consider checked. Both Battleship and The Avengers. And how glad I am, you were with me for these two movies, sat right beside me, fed me with popcorns.

Dinner was joined by another 2 more good friends. Went to Brotzeit for the first time (again, it reminded me that we said we wanted to try this restaurant. I know that's the reason why you suggested it too... I think I reminded you some moments of ours too) Food was good, but the company was even better. I've listened to you guys singing me birthday song for 4 times! I felt heads turned to our side in the restaurant, and my cheeks were burned with flames, and yet I can't help smiling. You guys brought me so much laughter.

The big dinner!

I wished, I blew, I cut - Thank you loves!

With the girls

With the guys

Lastly, a drive up to Genting completed my day. Having drinks, and few rounds of Monopoly card games made our bonding stronger. We didn't "fan toi" in the end, did we? =)

On the way back in the car, I was silent for a few moments. Cause' you were sitting next to me, and I can't help but to think back that was the same exact situation when you first held my hand. Back then, you held me in your hugs and slid your hand into mine, trying to put me to sleep with your gentle strokes. I was wondering if you thought of that night when we first hugged, even for a second because that was a piece of memory that only we both shared.

Birthday only needs to be this way. Simple and warm, with those who love me and I love.

Little joy of the day: Was relieved that I not could only smile when I was with you, but I could laugh as well. I guess things between us didn't change much.

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I knew this day will come, when we were getting really close. The day when we would finally sit and talk about us. I'm more ready to talk, and listen to you after I drink. I kinda expected what you will tell me, and yet I need the alcohol effect to give me more courage. You told me I was not sober, I said "I'm super sober". Because if I don't, I won't be able to remember every single word you said on that night.

Our conversation that night, our confessions to each other made my heart sank bit by bit. Yes, i think I'm losing you. You're losing me. Maybe not for long, but at this short term where you and I needed a space to breathe. You never wanna lose me you said. I never wanna see you leave I said. But, how honest were we that night? Honesty, you told me is an important thing. You told me about your family, about trust. You once told me before that you have shown me your true feelings so much more compared to what you have shown others, because you have trust issues. And then, now I wonder will you still be able to show me your feelings honestly after our conversation that night?

All our words were still in the back of my mind. I can accept every word from you, I can understand what you've been thinking. I can rationalise your actions. I can be what you want me to be. Until the next morning came, you've showed me how little you can do for me, when I can do so much for you.

"Dear... I am really sorry if I made u angry or upset... I tend to do that a lot.."

"I really like u also... But I know one day, sooner or later I'll make u unhappy. I'm afraid of losing u. I'm scared of losing u by making mistakes. I always make mistakes"

The reason why I can still uphold my trust in you, is because of the messages you've sent me before. The way you said it, so sincere that I want to believe in you. But again, not because you've warned me before that you will make me unhappy one day means I deserve to be hurt. So, keep your promise that you will forever be afraid to lose me.

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